Identifying by my work

Unlike many parents in India, mine did not push me to be solely academic oriented. Academics were a necessary evil in my life that I needed to get through to survive in the system. I was much better and more oriented to extra-curriculars (sport, music etc).

While this helped me choose a relatively off-beat career like Design (when most peers were studying medicine, engineering, law etc), the system eventually caught up on me in one way - my work became part of my identity. This is further accentuated by the fact that Design also happens to be a an area that I am passionate about - very invested in.

I never noticed how much my work was my identity until now.

In Germany, work and private life has a very clear distinction - one of those cultural differences I found hard to deal with and understand initially but later began to respect.
I observed many friends and colleagues being very dedicated to their job during the hours they spent at work, yet would totally switch off the moment they stepped out and would be ready to wear a totally different hat - that of their hobby/ other interests.

With situations that are now more important to my life, I am beginning to wonder how I could move more in this direction. 

Being an outlier

When I lived in India, I constantly stood out amongst fellow urban, educated, upwardly mobile middle class Indians who always thought everything about the NEW, 'developing' India was great - India is the next super power, Indians are the most intelligent people, the world economy is alive due to India...the world is coming to India...
Not acknowledging the things that work well in the 'developed' world

Now, living as an expat in a 'developed' economy, I still stand out because the locals have the 'developed' world mindset - we invented this in the past, we are leaders in that...
Not acknowledging the growing role emerging economies are playing in the world.

*Sigh* its a hard life being someone with a broader perspective. While at my core I believe this is a good thing to be able to have a balanced view, there are definitely times when I wonder, if it is more peaceful to take a black and white approach to life and be on one side of the journey.

Good riddance to 2013! phew!

I'm not deeply into astrology, but this is what it said about 2013 for Librans:

2013 brings you nothing short of a total rebirth, Libra. You can finally bid farewell to the heavy and austere presence of Saturn in your stars since late 2009.

Well. Rebirth indeed. Life changed permanently for me. My mom boosted my life by donating one of her kidneys to me. A kidney transplant is not an easy treatment to deal with. It is indeed a life changing illness that's now a reality for my life time. 

It's been a rather unpleasant year not only for me but also many others around me :(. It was particularly hard to keep myself from slipping into negativity.

• if kidney donation wasn't enough, my mom suffers a stroke and undergoes another surgery. was very hard for me to see her in her condition through my own recovery process. 
• a friend's father's cancer got worse
• a friend lost her new born 
• a friend lost his father
• a team mate at work passed away of cancer 
• a colleague got diagnosed cancer while being pregnant...

While there were relatively smaller incidents in 2013 that would otherwise have been reasons to celebrate, there were no real celebrations through the year.

Overall, in the process of living life and dealing with everything life has to offer, 2013 has by far been the most testing year for me. 

I am more than happy to be back in Germany - to our (current) home; to our own space and begin the countdown to see this year end.

I know, there's no guarantee that years to come will be better :) 

Is the doctor worried?

If there's one thing I've understood about the German (public) health system, it is:

'If the doctor is worried about my health condition, he/she will act as soon as possible and everything will suddenly start working (almost in a frenzy) and then I have something to worry about.'
If the doctor is not worried, then I should not be worried either.

So long! 

Finding my footing

Returning back to work after a long time is a strange feeling because (as expected) people and things seem to have moved on - without me.

• People have become used to not having me around 
• Ways have been found to get things done without me 
• Some others have taken over stuff I used to do

It's business as usual for everyone else. It's me who needs to find my place again amongst my team - where can I bring value (if so)...it takes time. After all, its true that nobody is indispensable.

"No such thing as bad weather..."

One of the first things I heard from my German friends and colleagues many years ago was, "there's no such thing as bad weather. Only bad clothes."
For someone coming from India where complaining about the weather is a pass time, this was a thought provoking statement. As I spent time in Germany, I even started to see some truth in this statement.

Recently I was back in India and spent many months - spanning multiple seasons. Now I can say,  I do not quite agree with this statement. People start terming a certain weather 'bad' based on multiple factors - their own preparedness to deal with it and how prepared their surrounding environment is to deal with it. Clothes play a very minor role in this. In countries like India where there are serious infrastructural problems, weather is commonly perceived as bad because it starts impacting a person's ability to carry on their day to day chores. Condition of the road, electricity, water shortage etc get seriously hampered with different weather patterns.

Right clothing for weather is something that does not even occur to people.
So, 'bad' is a valid perception of weather indeed!

Back in Germany and to work

After almost 8 months of being away - sick, we got back to Germany on 20th September and I officially joined back work as of 1st October 2013.

This was the longest time I had been away from work in 15 years of my career.

Through this difficult time, it was a blessing to have an extremely supportive employer, extremely supportive and caring team mates n colleagues and an indispensable set of friends n family.

Our family in India was there by our side all through. A couple of months pre and post surgery gave us some quality time with our friends in India too. Despite the distance, our friends and colleagues in Germany were in constant touch and continued to make us feel cared for by their support; small, unexpected gestures and sometimes even some big favors.

• Our friends created a small video to say they missed having us around
• My team sent me a bunch of flowers and a card
• My team mates would often call/ email to check how I was doing
• A colleague saved up a Lindt chocolate until the day I returned back to work
• A huge poster on the wall 'welcome back' and a card, signed by my team members greeted me at my workstation
• ...

Its great to be back in relatively better health. I am looking forward to my health getting progressively better - keeping my fingers crossed. Thank you all for being there for me and caring for me. I am honored and touched.