The year that was (2011)

2011 was a crazier roller coater ride than some recent years. Hence it does not bring up any evident emotions in me. Over the course of the year, I did learn a few things:

• I learnt that there (perhaps) some merit to being superficial and pretentious. I always believed (and in my heart still do) that the only way to be is, straight forward and genuine. But I realized that a large number of people dwell in pretentions. That's the only language they understand. Unfortunately I happen to have many such people around me, so I realized, in order to have any equation with them, I need to speak their language. A tough call for me, but I guess I need to learn a few tricks here.
• I realized I need to learn to keep an ultra straight face that revel no emotions. Again something very hard for me to do but needs to be learnt.

Highlights of the year were largely restricted to the professional sector:

• I got through a hugely inhibiting process of getting admission to study in a reputed university liked Oxford, Said business school. I never really thought I would get through it. A higher education has been on my list of to dos for many many years...
• I got to teach a design thinking class to students in the Hasso Plattner Institute - D school in Potsdam. It was a great experience to be there. Started to build a network with people I met there.

The roller coaster ride:

• Despite these highlights my role and position in my team got redefined almost on a daily basis. The team broke down suddenly and in an unpleasant manner. Was hard to keep the focus and rise above it all, to find motivation to continue to do a good job.
• On a another note, mid year my health got us off the hook - gave us all a scare. It really tested my faith and forced me to open my mind to some realities. November brought some relatively good news so we could breathe a sigh of relief.
• As we took off to India to spend time with our family, it did not end up being as desirable. A throat infection grounded me at home and I was not in a position to be upbeat and enjoy the time with my parents and friends in Bangalore.
• Family scenarios left a rather unpleasant taste in the mouth towards the end of the year :(

 Our travels took us to:

• Hamburg, sylt via hannover
• Dresden and Sächsische Schweiz
• Southern france, along the coast to barcelona and back.
• Croatia
• Another failed attempt to see the northern lights. This time in Tromso, norway.

We entertained ourselves with the following concerts:

• Red Hot Chilli Peppers
• Roxette
• Robbie Williams (couldn't get to see him without the rest of the Take That boys, so saw him with em)
• Anoushka Shanker (enjoy jazz)
• Istanbul Sessions (enjoy jazz)
• Bon Jovi
• Rush
• Animals
• Sting and the philharmonic
• Bergen philharmonic

2012 begins with some big things on my hands. I look forward to it with anxiety.

A decade

Sunday, 13th November V was treated by the company he spent a decade in to a really nice show and some very very good 4 course vegetarian meal.
V put all the sweat and blood to deserve this, I got to share this experience with him too. This 'humane' aspect is what I love so much about our workplace.

While we enjoyed the evening, I remembered, the day V had his interview, at the Taj Residency, M.G Road in Bangalore. We met soon after with the news that the company made a very good offer.
To celebrate, we ate lunch at the Rice Bowl near St. Mark's road.

We've come a long way since then together. At that moment we never imagined we'd both be working again together; that we'd both be in Germany together as a married couple.

This company has positively changed our life in many ways and has become an integral part of our life.

This post is more for V - celebrating the success of the past 10 years and looking forward to the future together. Was a happy moment for us.

"I choose to be a woman"...kudos to that!

I experienced a 'first of it's kind' situation sometime back. A colleague who I knew as a man, underwent a sex change to become a woman. As difficult as it was for some of us who knew her in the past, I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult it must be for her. I give kudos to her for being so brave. To go through such a huge change and yet be among the same colleagues, friends...I am really amazed at her strength.

Coming from a patriarchal country where women still largely have an inferior status, it's fascinating to see that someone actually chooses to be a woman :) 

While in my country, women often wish/wished they were a man :) - sometimes just so they could get as much to eat/get some education/ survive...!!

This is for my colleague, and to all the fortunate women who can celebrate their femininity.

Finding myself: Part 1

At work, we need to play by the rulers of our managers, colleagues, larger organizational culture etc.
At home we need to play by the rules of our spouses, our respective families...
Everyone you call your friend finds his/her place in the pie chart of relationships - each different, each special.
While some of us dwell in the pleasure of being a parent, trying to keep pace with their kids...others trying to find a slot in their life for a new one...
At every such interaction, there is a layer we need to wear. So...

• Where in the grand scheme of things do you find 'yourself?' 
• How big is the slice for 'yourself' in the pie chart of relationships - does it exist?
• Where amidst all this is the place you can call your 'own?'
• a place where you drop all your pretentious and be yourself
• a place where you are connected to yourself, don't feel drawn to unsurmountable pressures & expectations
• a place where no one reassures you of all your weaknesses (oblivious of your strengths)
• a place where you can just breathe, smile, be happy & at peace with yourself to who you are, with all your imperfections.

While I delve deep into myself, I could do with some inspirations. Have you found this sacred place for yourself? If so, how? What's your story? 

Small pleasures

Warm weather, wearing my sports shorts, riding my bicycle through the woods..up and down the old wooden bridges over railway tracks...sunlight beaming through between the branches of tall trees, the thrill of riding down hill, fast, with the wind blowing on my face...I smile to myself! 

Food while travelling within Germany

A couple of weeks back, as we travelled through southern France we were really finding it hard to find vegetarian food other than Italian pizza, pasta. The best we could get was some baguette and omelete with some salad.
In Mont Blanc, our host Tony was of the opinion that French were not too experimental with food - that Germans were.

I have to agree with Tony. Just in one square (neumarkt) in Dresden, we had the following options:
Vietnamese, Mexican, Indian, Chinese, Spanish, Italian, German,South African, Cuban...

I also believe that vegetarianism has really caught up in Germany, a lot more than other parts of Europe.
All of the above restaurants had vegetarian options beyond salads. Some had many many options.

Even in a Gaststatte in a village like Hinterhermsdorf in Sachsen, we found lots of veggie food.

It's really nice. Traveling within Germany is really a comfortable experience.

Confronting realities

This July it will be 3 years since I moved to Germany. I.e. one year over the time frame that was generally communicated to friends and family when I was moving. It was meant to be a time frame and not a deadline.

After a whole year (2009-2010) of feeling wasted in a team that once considered me valuable, I finally managed to find another place for myself within in October 2010. I once again like my job, I am around motivated and driven people, so on the work front, things are looking good. I also am doing a kind of job that I could not have gotten to do (so easily) if I were in India. I like the change.

On another front though, there is increasing pressure I feel that being in Germany and liking it, is causing a lot of trouble and discomfort to people in my life - people who mean a lot to me. This is constantly playing on my conscience. One part of me tells me, I deserve to have a life of my own...and another part of me tells me, I should be considerate towards these people - not think about myself.

3 years helped establish deep relationships with friends here. However, there is a constant question mark and reality that hangs above these relationships. Seems like it gets in the way of taking such relationships to next levels. Friends here are not sure just how long we will be around and how much should they bank on us\invest in this relationship with us.

So, 3 years hence, the uncertainty of living in Germany with an open end date is becoming a problem for  too many people around me. Humm...I do not know any answers, nor are there any definite plans...

I read an interesting line.
When the winds of change begin to blow, some people choose to build walls, others choose to build windmills. 

I wonder what direction I am headed towards...for now, I recognize the wind is starting to blow...I'll go with the flow until there's some firm hold.