"I choose to be a woman"...kudos to that!

I experienced a 'first of it's kind' situation sometime back. A colleague who I knew as a man, underwent a sex change to become a woman. As difficult as it was for some of us who knew her in the past, I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult it must be for her. I give kudos to her for being so brave. To go through such a huge change and yet be among the same colleagues, friends...I am really amazed at her strength.

Coming from a patriarchal country where women still largely have an inferior status, it's fascinating to see that someone actually chooses to be a woman :) 

While in my country, women often wish/wished they were a man :) - sometimes just so they could get as much to eat/get some education/ survive...!!

This is for my colleague, and to all the fortunate women who can celebrate their femininity.

Finding myself: Part 1

At work, we need to play by the rulers of our managers, colleagues, larger organizational culture etc.
At home we need to play by the rules of our spouses, our respective families...
Everyone you call your friend finds his/her place in the pie chart of relationships - each different, each special.
While some of us dwell in the pleasure of being a parent, trying to keep pace with their kids...others trying to find a slot in their life for a new one...
At every such interaction, there is a layer we need to wear. So...

• Where in the grand scheme of things do you find 'yourself?' 
• How big is the slice for 'yourself' in the pie chart of relationships - does it exist?
• Where amidst all this is the place you can call your 'own?'
• a place where you drop all your pretentious and be yourself
• a place where you are connected to yourself, don't feel drawn to unsurmountable pressures & expectations
• a place where no one reassures you of all your weaknesses (oblivious of your strengths)
• a place where you can just breathe, smile, be happy & at peace with yourself to who you are, with all your imperfections.

While I delve deep into myself, I could do with some inspirations. Have you found this sacred place for yourself? If so, how? What's your story? 

Small pleasures

Warm weather, wearing my sports shorts, riding my bicycle through the woods..up and down the old wooden bridges over railway tracks...sunlight beaming through between the branches of tall trees, the thrill of riding down hill, fast, with the wind blowing on my face...I smile to myself! 

Food while travelling within Germany

A couple of weeks back, as we travelled through southern France we were really finding it hard to find vegetarian food other than Italian pizza, pasta. The best we could get was some baguette and omelete with some salad.
In Mont Blanc, our host Tony was of the opinion that French were not too experimental with food - that Germans were.

I have to agree with Tony. Just in one square (neumarkt) in Dresden, we had the following options:
Vietnamese, Mexican, Indian, Chinese, Spanish, Italian, German,South African, Cuban...

I also believe that vegetarianism has really caught up in Germany, a lot more than other parts of Europe.
All of the above restaurants had vegetarian options beyond salads. Some had many many options.

Even in a Gaststatte in a village like Hinterhermsdorf in Sachsen, we found lots of veggie food.

It's really nice. Traveling within Germany is really a comfortable experience.

Confronting realities

This July it will be 3 years since I moved to Germany. I.e. one year over the time frame that was generally communicated to friends and family when I was moving. It was meant to be a time frame and not a deadline.

After a whole year (2009-2010) of feeling wasted in a team that once considered me valuable, I finally managed to find another place for myself within in October 2010. I once again like my job, I am around motivated and driven people, so on the work front, things are looking good. I also am doing a kind of job that I could not have gotten to do (so easily) if I were in India. I like the change.

On another front though, there is increasing pressure I feel that being in Germany and liking it, is causing a lot of trouble and discomfort to people in my life - people who mean a lot to me. This is constantly playing on my conscience. One part of me tells me, I deserve to have a life of my own...and another part of me tells me, I should be considerate towards these people - not think about myself.

3 years helped establish deep relationships with friends here. However, there is a constant question mark and reality that hangs above these relationships. Seems like it gets in the way of taking such relationships to next levels. Friends here are not sure just how long we will be around and how much should they bank on us\invest in this relationship with us.

So, 3 years hence, the uncertainty of living in Germany with an open end date is becoming a problem for  too many people around me. Humm...I do not know any answers, nor are there any definite plans...

I read an interesting line.
When the winds of change begin to blow, some people choose to build walls, others choose to build windmills. 

I wonder what direction I am headed towards...for now, I recognize the wind is starting to blow...I'll go with the flow until there's some firm hold. 

2010 in retrospect

There are special programs on television that capture memorable moments of 2010...

There are just a few more days left of this year...

So, I decide to introspect on this year too. 

Increasingly, the 365 days seem shorter every year. Time seems to fly faster. 

I can remember January of 2010 so vividly that I cannot believe in 5 more days, it will be January of 2011.  phew! 

2010 for me was full of sports, visitors and some travels :D

For a few months, we were regular visitors to the local government office to request for invitation letters for our friends and family. We are now fully aware of the formalities required to be done to invite someone over from India for a short visit :)

Our guest bedroom was finally put to it's intended use.

• Sharmila came for a quick overnight stay with us first sometime in May.
• Vinod uncle and; aunty followed as they stopped over to spend time with us en route to India.
• Jaishree (and Sharmila again) came over to watch the F1 in Hockenheim and travel around a bit.
• Ankura and our friends here spent the summer in Santorini and Athens.
• finally, in September Mom-Dad came over on their maiden trip outside of India. 

It was great to have everyone over. The worst part were the "good byes." (I hate good byes)
Despite that, the ease of it all made me feel very connected with my friends back home all over again. Thanks to new technology, well paying jobs and cheap flight tickets, the world does seem like a small place. 

Although FIFA dominated global sports scene in 2010, we managed to do more than just that.

• A visit to and tour of Wimbledon Center court: Need to get back there to watch a match
• A visit to Lords Cricket grounds. I'm not sure if I'd sit through an entire match. I am a Tennis and live Football fan instead.
• French open finals, Roland Garros, Paris. Although I missed watching Federer play, was great watching Nadal. It was too short a match.
• F1, Hockenheim, Germany. Was a good one time experience. I don't think I will do this again.
• Plenty of public viewing of 2010 FIFA world cup matches. Germany's position kept up the good spirits. This time I had the German flag, a hat with the red, black and gold and also the Wuwuzela. Was a lot of fun.
  
• German Bundesliga (Hoffenheim versus Bayer Leverkusen), Sinsheim, Germany. Watching a football match live for the first time. Enjoyed it despite the freezing temperature. Wish the Hoffenheim supporters were more alive.
• Manchester United versus Arsenal, Manchester, UK. The ManU supporters were really really alive. The sound was almost deafening. It wasn't a great match for ManU but the experience of it was really good.

V writes more in detail of his experiences.

Our travels took us to (business+personal): 

• Sweden: Stockholm, Kiruna, Abisko
• UK: London, Manchester, Liverpool
• USA: Atlanta, Orlando, Miami
• Greece: Santorini, Athens
• France: Colmar, Riquewihr, Paris 
• Germany: Loreley, Bacharach, Treiburg
• Belgium: Brussels
• Switzerland: Zurich, Zug, Engleberg
• Turkey: Istanbul

We watched the following concerts: 

• Alice in Chains, Wiesbaden, Germany
• Mika, Wiesbaden, Germany
• U2, Frankfurt, Germany
• Robert Plant, Paris, France

As we pack our bags (yet again) to leave for India and welcoming 2011, some key incidents of 2010 stay in my mind:

• I got stuck in Atlanta due to the Icelandic volcano. I return to Germany via Rome combining a flight and train journey to get home. 
• As Parisians got on their roads to protest the increase in retirement age and as their gas stations shut down, we took the chance to drive to Paris (via Belgium) to watch Robert Plant live :D, and so mom-dad could experience on of the most charming city of Europe. 
• Flying over the Arctic circle to Abisko and spending a night in Lapland in the peak of winter was something!! 
• I achieved a goal I had set for myself - get my parents to travel abroad and see some places. Feels good that I could.

When de-centralised is more sustainable

A month ago, there was a power outage in my apartments building for a hour, two days in a row. Coming from India, a power outage like this is insignificant to daily life.

However, in Germany, it was significant.

• I (obviously) could not watch TV
• I could not connect to WLAN and work on my charged laptop
• I could not cook myself some food for myself
• I could not heat food from the refrigerator
• I could not even get my car out of the parking garage (because the gate was stuck)

A couple of days back, when it was -7 degree centigrade outside, the centralized heating system was down for a few hours.

• I could not take a shower
• The room started to become cold

I thought to myself, in India, having the LPG (liquid petroleum gas) alternative along side electricity proves to be very effective.

There is always a back up. One or the other would work - keeping centralized systems up and running on a constant basis takes up quite a bit of resources and effort.