My quest to learn

After many years of yearning to get a higher education, I finally started the process. I started my Post Grad Diploma in Strategy and Innovation from Said Business School, University of Oxford in February this year.

I'm not talking much about this, mainly because I am superstitious and I am taking each module and exam one step at a time - I'd rather talk about it more once I successfully complete the course. 

It is posing to be quite a challenge to manage a demanding job and a course that has 3 real exams, 1 assignment and 1 thesis project to get through before I get my hands on the PG Diploma. Hence, I'm really keeping a low profile about the whole thing. 

Being in Oxford for the course modules with a class of 65 extremely diverse students is an amazing experience. Surprisingly, I am the only student with an IT industry experience and not-surprisingly, I am the only designer in this class of B-School. 

One exam down, with reasonably good scores, I am feeling encouraged and anxious (about the next exam) at the same time. 

Needless to say, I've been asked by almost everyone, "why are you doing this course? Do you want to become a manager?" 

I honestly do not have a very convincing answer and I tell myself, I should even if it is fake :P

I wonder, 'whatever happened to learning aspect of education?' Why is that not a good enough answer for anyone anymore? 

As a designer with 15 years of industry experience, I found myself yearning to learn some new things beyond what my job teaches me; beyond what I have been doing all along - things I know I am good at. I felt I need to get some additional, complimentary learning and skills to add value to myself. 

Right now, I do not know if I want to be a manager bla bla...right now, I do not know how I will leverage this education. 

What matters to me is, I am learning a lot of new, very interesting things; I am meeting some very nice fellow students; I am getting out of my comfort zone and challenging myself and I'm focussed on maximizing this opportunity. 

Despite the struggle to balance work, home and studying, I am enjoying it. Who knows what's in store...I am as curious as anyone else around me is :)

Thanks Germany for your policies to encourage higher education by providing tax benefits. This played a huge role in my decision to go ahead and pursue this long pending desire of mine.

Perception about 'difference'

I realized a cultural trait about fellow Indians during my last trip to India. In my view, (many) Indians cannot deal well with 'different' opinions and perspectives to things. They always seek agreement and in the process there is often a lot of conflict. Each person seeks reassurance that their opinion is the right one and in some situations, people can get rather offended when there is a lack of such reassurance.

I bumped into a neighbor of mine. On learning that V and I live in Germany, he broached the topic of the European economic situation and had a rather negative view of Germany's situation. We tried to tell him that Germany was the strongest economy, putting a lot of effort into the whole issue. However, he continued to push his view. Information from two people who live in Germany, who follow the economic situation and are far more updated about this than him were no reasons to even give our information some thought. Getting into a fact based discussion did not seem worth it. To cut the conversation short, V and I started nodding our heads in agreement and we saw a smile on his face. Reassured!


On another occasion, a family friend was extremely skeptical of the services available in UK for someone like himself who has had a knee surgery and had trouble walking. He was full of contempt of the western 'DIY' ways of living. This coming from someone who lives in India where 'accessibility' is a real problem, I tried to tell him, these scenarios are quite well taken care of in countries like UK. Airlines offer help, many public buildings have wheelchair access etc. I could tell my words were falling to deaf ears. 

In such occasions, people in India are often quick to question my nationalistic loyalties if I happen to say something good about the world outside of India :D (I feel sorry for such people)

Holding a different opinion or perspective is perceived as being disrespectful. Within family contexts, it is often hard for family members to fathom a scenario where there are differing opinions since the method of upbringing is supposed to ensure compliance and uniformity.

For me as an Indian, this cultural trait is very difficult to deal with because I see it as an oxymoronic situation - India as a country epitomizes diversity and secularism. One of the essential elements for diversity to survive is, an appreciation/acceptance/tolerance to differences.

Subconsciously, I may have traces of this Indian trait in me as well, however, having lived in different countries, interacting with people from different countries and different states within India, at a conscious level, I believe I am able to handle differences and most importantly, I do not expect everyone to agree to my views, I can respect a different opinion. I'm glad I can.

The year that was (2011)

2011 was a crazier roller coater ride than some recent years. Hence it does not bring up any evident emotions in me. Over the course of the year, I did learn a few things:

• I learnt that there (perhaps) some merit to being superficial and pretentious. I always believed (and in my heart still do) that the only way to be is, straight forward and genuine. But I realized that a large number of people dwell in pretentions. That's the only language they understand. Unfortunately I happen to have many such people around me, so I realized, in order to have any equation with them, I need to speak their language. A tough call for me, but I guess I need to learn a few tricks here.
• I realized I need to learn to keep an ultra straight face that revel no emotions. Again something very hard for me to do but needs to be learnt.

Highlights of the year were largely restricted to the professional sector:

• I got through a hugely inhibiting process of getting admission to study in a reputed university liked Oxford, Said business school. I never really thought I would get through it. A higher education has been on my list of to dos for many many years...
• I got to teach a design thinking class to students in the Hasso Plattner Institute - D school in Potsdam. It was a great experience to be there. Started to build a network with people I met there.

The roller coaster ride:

• Despite these highlights my role and position in my team got redefined almost on a daily basis. The team broke down suddenly and in an unpleasant manner. Was hard to keep the focus and rise above it all, to find motivation to continue to do a good job.
• On a another note, mid year my health got us off the hook - gave us all a scare. It really tested my faith and forced me to open my mind to some realities. November brought some relatively good news so we could breathe a sigh of relief.
• As we took off to India to spend time with our family, it did not end up being as desirable. A throat infection grounded me at home and I was not in a position to be upbeat and enjoy the time with my parents and friends in Bangalore.
• Family scenarios left a rather unpleasant taste in the mouth towards the end of the year :(

 Our travels took us to:

• Hamburg, sylt via hannover
• Dresden and Sächsische Schweiz
• Southern france, along the coast to barcelona and back.
• Croatia
• Another failed attempt to see the northern lights. This time in Tromso, norway.

We entertained ourselves with the following concerts:

• Red Hot Chilli Peppers
• Roxette
• Robbie Williams (couldn't get to see him without the rest of the Take That boys, so saw him with em)
• Anoushka Shanker (enjoy jazz)
• Istanbul Sessions (enjoy jazz)
• Bon Jovi
• Rush
• Animals
• Sting and the philharmonic
• Bergen philharmonic

2012 begins with some big things on my hands. I look forward to it with anxiety.

A decade

Sunday, 13th November V was treated by the company he spent a decade in to a really nice show and some very very good 4 course vegetarian meal.
V put all the sweat and blood to deserve this, I got to share this experience with him too. This 'humane' aspect is what I love so much about our workplace.

While we enjoyed the evening, I remembered, the day V had his interview, at the Taj Residency, M.G Road in Bangalore. We met soon after with the news that the company made a very good offer.
To celebrate, we ate lunch at the Rice Bowl near St. Mark's road.

We've come a long way since then together. At that moment we never imagined we'd both be working again together; that we'd both be in Germany together as a married couple.

This company has positively changed our life in many ways and has become an integral part of our life.

This post is more for V - celebrating the success of the past 10 years and looking forward to the future together. Was a happy moment for us.

"I choose to be a woman"...kudos to that!

I experienced a 'first of it's kind' situation sometime back. A colleague who I knew as a man, underwent a sex change to become a woman. As difficult as it was for some of us who knew her in the past, I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult it must be for her. I give kudos to her for being so brave. To go through such a huge change and yet be among the same colleagues, friends...I am really amazed at her strength.

Coming from a patriarchal country where women still largely have an inferior status, it's fascinating to see that someone actually chooses to be a woman :) 

While in my country, women often wish/wished they were a man :) - sometimes just so they could get as much to eat/get some education/ survive...!!

This is for my colleague, and to all the fortunate women who can celebrate their femininity.

Finding myself: Part 1

At work, we need to play by the rulers of our managers, colleagues, larger organizational culture etc.
At home we need to play by the rules of our spouses, our respective families...
Everyone you call your friend finds his/her place in the pie chart of relationships - each different, each special.
While some of us dwell in the pleasure of being a parent, trying to keep pace with their kids...others trying to find a slot in their life for a new one...
At every such interaction, there is a layer we need to wear. So...

• Where in the grand scheme of things do you find 'yourself?' 
• How big is the slice for 'yourself' in the pie chart of relationships - does it exist?
• Where amidst all this is the place you can call your 'own?'
• a place where you drop all your pretentious and be yourself
• a place where you are connected to yourself, don't feel drawn to unsurmountable pressures & expectations
• a place where no one reassures you of all your weaknesses (oblivious of your strengths)
• a place where you can just breathe, smile, be happy & at peace with yourself to who you are, with all your imperfections.

While I delve deep into myself, I could do with some inspirations. Have you found this sacred place for yourself? If so, how? What's your story? 

Small pleasures

Warm weather, wearing my sports shorts, riding my bicycle through the woods..up and down the old wooden bridges over railway tracks...sunlight beaming through between the branches of tall trees, the thrill of riding down hill, fast, with the wind blowing on my face...I smile to myself!